also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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