After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize