You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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