four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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