remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
