New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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