I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
