Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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