He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
