You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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