Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize