Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
