did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.