HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November