Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!