Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  why was he too nerdy?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he was a tetris block for halloween

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  (314): why was he too nerdy? (919): he was a tetris block for halloween http://tfl.nu/svcq
  Replies (56) Good night (5399) Bad night (1025)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase

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  (703): nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase http://tfl.nu/yg43
  Replies (11) Good night (4272) Bad night (1124) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

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  (650): Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day... http://tfl.nu/p3lj
  Replies (51) Good night (6437) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'

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  (435): Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much' http://tfl.nu/b5vr
  Replies (26) Good night (2275) Bad night (7874) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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  (727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh
  Replies (42) Good night (10106) Bad night (1087) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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  (402): my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen. http://tfl.nu/06g9
  Replies (2) Good night (3931) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4

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  (434): She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4 http://tfl.nu/9o7z
  Replies (45) Good night (2007) Bad night (6669) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

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  (519): You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings http://tfl.nu/jmrv
  Replies (2) Good night (1454) Bad night (2522) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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  (360): I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too http://tfl.nu/ui5h
  Replies (6) Good night (3186) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?

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  (709): Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank? http://tfl.nu/b51n
  Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.

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  (703): I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU. http://tfl.nu/rhle
  Replies (16) Good night (5197) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.

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  (408): Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls. http://tfl.nu/x3cf
  Replies (0) Good night (1398) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.

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  (815): He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background. http://tfl.nu/8wbf
  Replies (5) Good night (521) Bad night (1643) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?

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  (313): I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/g93i
  Replies (7) Good night (1507) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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  (330): The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/09ej
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

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