I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic