census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
