I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
