Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
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god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
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I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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