Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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