if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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