Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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