I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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