it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
