I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
