let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
