this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
