soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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