Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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