you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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