guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
