i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
