girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize