dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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