I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
