So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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