i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
