They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
