ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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