ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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