Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
