Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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