Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
