don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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