We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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