people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful