my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?