yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?