I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites