Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
