i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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