I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
