Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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